1.15.2013

when the next one plunges in to the whys like the other three year olds who have gone before him and still there isn't a good answer to why except that it just is what it is and isn't it true that not knowing why is as difficult at 35 as it is at 3. maybe his asking so many whys is a good reminder for you that a lot of life is a mystery and that somewhere around 3 years old the opportunity to (intellectually) trust started. and maybe the only answer to his "why" is "who do you trust?"

9.19.2012

when prepping dinner in the kitchen is put on hold to watch the circus in the family room because the cushions and pillows are suited for the floor, too, apparently.

he starts standing on the end table, which he pulled forward from the home i gave it.

then does a double bounce, once on each pillow in front of the end table, and climbs up the self-created mountain

hops onto the chair

flips and slides

into a forward roll

 just to do it all over again.

9.17.2012

the green boat, handed down from other now-grown boys, to be thrown into the ocean and brought back by the waves. again and again. with excitement and dancing each time it washes ashore.

9.7.2012

When breakfast together, the six of us, at one table, on a school day, is a first. A first and last? Approximately 3.5 minutes of trying something new. Trying (tried?) to savor instead of spew, to approach the mornings as though they too are a gift, an opportunity to be rather than another thoroughfare to ignore. 

9.3.2012

backyard camping in the slumberjack.

8.28.2012

reading the book that was my childhood favorite, Ramona Quimby, Age 8, to my very own 8 year old and 6 year old and laughing together at the parts that i remember being funny way back when i read it for the first time. "Give me my eraser, Yard Ape" and "This is Bruce who doesn't wee-wee in the sandbox". 

glad they consented to this read. (finally)

8.26.2012

"Boys, what do you think is around that corner?"

"ticks"
"a mountain lion"

"more poo"

"a waterfall. please, a waterfall."

More tall "tick grass". And a lovely butte. Should have known.

8.17.2012

his first night of math homework ever. he did it willingly (!), with enthusiasm, even (!).

i am thankful and excited and prayerful that he will be a lover of learning. 

8.16.2012

you had me at hello, new cookbook with the amazing title. and then you cemented my love in the preface, you know, when i started crying. thank you for practically jumping off the barnes and noble shelves into my unsuspecting arms, i look forward to splattering your pages with grease and flour (and more tears??). best impulse purchase to date.

8.10.2012

his elbow dimples remind me that he is still little, although he is trying not to be

they're trying to be bigger than they are too

because dinner table activities have morphed from barking commands to toddlers into coherent conversations about days and lives where we all have a space to spill our juice and cover the floor in rice, and because we can all carry our dishes to the sink when we're done making our messes and feeding our mouths and souls. because we set out to learn responsibility for ourselves and take care of each other.

8.7.2012

when it seems inevitable that someone will drive you off the road or that you will drown in your own fears and insecurities and it seems like all of life is against you and just when you're ready to break down, you see him in a surprising place and it's enough to make you want to keep pressing on.

1st day

right at home

and then, after you see him and he hugs you and says so confidently that it makes you confident too that, "it has to get better. it just has to" and you shrug in hope and wiggle into a groove that works and find that he was right, it is better. and it wasn't that hard to get here.

8.6.2012

On the day they begin another school year, first and third grades, there is excitement, crazy joy, deep longing, nervous expectation, unsure willingness, surrender to trust, prayerful tears, peace, assurance and wondering if they will have enough to eat. 

Fingers are pried back, grip loosens.

8.2.2012

 my goal for the upcoming school year

new hangers make me happy

mmmmm, tasty

7.20.2012 part II

 Silliness and laughter and tickling erupts after watching The Muppet Movie. Much laughter, marvelous silliness.

7.20.2012

to show us, teach us, guide us. bait our hooks for us and see us. with love. in love. preach love. 

7.17.2012

fun with sparklers, july 4th

in a non-committal effort to be intentional about remembering these days that quickly pass, i have sort-of decided to try to post some photo or tidbit here everyday. i fear the months are blurring into years all too rapidly and memories are blurring into forgotten.