when you forget that you're in the middle of a battle and you lose focus and forget where you've been and what that you've been called to battle every day. because worry is the anti-trust and it seems reasonable to worry about everything and to pad all the worry with prayer and ceaseless thoughts about about how and why and when and what if and because praying all your worry has just made worry a habit and you see now that the praying wasn't praying at all but it was demanding answers now, as if you have any right to know the future. when you see your worry for what it really is, depriving yourself of the freedom of trusting, and your brokenness and sin are overwhelming but one God meets you there because He's brought you to this brokenness and wants to walk you out of your brokenness.
when listening to the three year old have a 20 minute fight against some imaginary creature in the backseat of the car with only the twig that he's been toting all day as a weapon is a reminder that every day the battle for your attention and your trust persists and you've forgotten to fight. and you're not sure how exactly to fight this one but to get out of your own head and just stop thinking about the things that you're tempted to worry about and instead of praying about it, you will trust about it, and thank about what will be even before it happens because God knows the desires of your heart and he will answer you when it's time for you to know and he won't forget.
