when dramatically violent pain surges through because they earn their own money now and can spend it as they (thoughtfully) please and they choose that which i would never choose. letting them make choices about buying a 49er hat with a (forced) smile and nod, trying to embrace all our differences no matter how many deaths i'm dying inside.

when choosing one's own clothes is important to keeping peace, we get partially gawked at in the school hallways with loving smiles of understanding moms who probably don't fight that fight either.

let love and faithfulness never leave you. bind them around your neck write them on the tablet of your heart