and when you drive down the same highway you always drive down and everything looks the same and it all smells the same too and suddenly you find yourself questioning the yellow boundary (sometimes only a dash of a yellow line) and questioning whether that's really all it takes to separate my 55 mph from their opposite 55 mph.
and when you find yourself hovering over the same thought..the same selfish thoughts, the same guilty thoughts as always...and you come out on the other side sad and lonely.
then when you realize these days of this droning are because of fear and simply naming it fear brings a degree of peace in hope, merely saying its name and deciding that's not what you want, not what he wants for you, not who you are meant to be and you resolve to get up and walk forward.
fear sneaks, always?
this is all my hope and stay; this is my sword and my shield:
'so then, i myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin. therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. for what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. and so he condemned sin in sinful man in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the spirit...for you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship.' romans 7,8