10.18.2012

when we realize together that the whole point of these days here are to end up in a better place than when we started because it just can't all be about this and then we look back at pictures and think back past 12 years of marriage and laugh at how young we were and how clueless we were and now, now we are a different us. we have changed. we are in a better place than we were 12 years ago and the thing is that we haven't become a closer, better us by anything we have done. we have done nothing noteworthy at all.
we have spoken harshly, we have slammed doors and turned backs and ignored and denied and the list is endless. but we know that in all things (all the messing and hurting and stabbing) all things, god works into good for people that love him.

and we haven't even loved him well by our own accord but it is grace that he remains faithful to us because he can not deny himself and we died with him and so we will live with him and that's how life makes any sense at all, because he loves and saved us and keeps loving and keeps saving us.