When I was in high school and leaving the house to go hang out with friends, my parents' last words to me were almost always, "Remember who you are and remember whose you are." Unsure how to respond to a statement like that, I would smile and say "thanks" or "I will" but really I had no idea what I was agreeing to. I thought my parents were just reciting a cute little ditty they had come up with to try to keep me out of trouble and, although I felt loved by the reminder, I didn't really comprehend the significance in the meaning of their words.
But since I can regurgitate their words a decade later, they obviously stuck. Somewhere over the course of the last 10ish years the meaning of their words found my heart: it's important to remember why I am the way I am. It's important because when life gets "lifey" - the ups and downs, the backs and forths - I can still stand up. Or I sit down and get cozy if I want, because I'm standing, or sitting, on truth - a rock that is immovable. And I can make decisions that prove I know where I stand.
When I think about who I am and who I've been (and, praise God, those two aren't identical) one word always suffocates me: selfish. I've always been selfish. Here's where comedy hits the fan. I, a rather intrusively inwardly focused person, am going to have 4 kids. What person with 4 kids has time to invest in the superficial, pay attention to me blahblahblah that is selfishness? I'm sure I'll find a way to do it but I can't help but wonder if, aside from the fact that Jesus loves life and this additional life (i.e. kid #4) will be a blessing in and of itself, God's moving me with this whole, let's call it "surprise, surprise" turn of events, from a heart stuck on one to a heart stuck on many. I hope that's the case.
I know who I am and I know whose I am and I may need reminders about those things like, every other minute, but I'm glad to say I know.
